Urja,
Overall, I think you had a wonderful free draft essay. I loved how you were sticking to the prompt and really expressing how it relates to your ultimate career goal. I think you added great analysis that fit the quotes. I think your main area of focus should be to really make your argument stronger by providing a deeper perspective. Try and think of other ways to add on another paragraph or more detail to concentrate on making the argument more persuasive. Also, I think it is important to blend the two paragraphs we discussed in class. There is great information within the paragraphs, however, I think it should be reformatted in a way that is more clear and easy to follow. You are clearly persuading that art is necessary in dentistry. Having a counter argument could really make your paper stronger by proving a different perspective and can have you as the writer rebut it. Overall, it is off to an awesome start!
